“So, how’s work?” is a genial, well-meaning question you’ll hear repeatedly at holiday gatherings. It’s the post-college equivalent of “What’s your major?”and a conversation starter that seems like a much safer topic than politics or religion, after all. And while it’s music to the ears of those who love their jobs, for many, it’s a cringe-inducing reminder of everything they’re trying to escape.
If you enjoy your work, fantastic! You’ve just been given the opportunity to share what you’ve been up to, why you like it and which big projects you’re excited about. You can easily return the favor and ask how their work is going and voilà — your conversation is off and running.
However, “How’s work?” also has the power to stir up some pretty strong emotions in those who liken their job to a root canal sans Novocain. Fortunately, there are several ways to respond — ranging from amusing and unproductive to powerful and effective. Let’s look at some options.
The Ugh Response: Why Complaining Is A Bad Look
When someone asks how work is going and you're in an unhappy situation, the temptation to unload about your micromanaging boss, thankless coworkers, or soul-sucking commute might feel overwhelming.
But here’s the problem. Negativity, no matter how justified, can make you look, well, negative. And no one leaves a holiday gathering thinking, “That was fun; now let me hire the person who hates everything.”
The truth is, badmouthing your workplace rarely serves you well. And it's the opposite of effective holiday networking. It can make you look unprofessional, risk getting back to your boss or colleagues and squander valuable energy that could be spent on more productive conversations.
Instead, flip the script. The holidays are an opportunity to present yourself in a positive light, regardless of how you feel about your current gig. Here are three powerful ways to respond that keep the conversation engaging and full of possibilities:
1: Share A New Passion: The Opportunity Re-Route
If you’re not thrilled about your job and have no immediate plans to leave, shift the focus. Say something like:
“Work is fine, thanks for asking! But hey, this summer I spoke to Congress about important legislation protecting horses. It’s so rewarding to see the difference we’re making. How about you? What’s been keeping you busy?”
This approach redirects the conversation to something positive and allows you to connect on a personal level without diving into work woes. Plus, it positions you as someone proactive and engaged — an attractive trait in any professional.
2: Learn From Them: The Opportunity Turnaround
If you’re contemplating a career shift but aren’t quite ready to make moves, holiday networking is a golden opportunity to gather insights. Respond with something like:
“Thanks for asking! Work’s steady right now, but I’ve been exploring what’s next. What about you? What do you love most about what you do?”
This approach positions you as thoughtful and curious while potentially uncovering industries, roles, or connections that hadn’t been on your radar.
3: Put It Out There: The Connection Opportunity
If you’re actively job hunting, don’t shy away from mentioning it. Networking accounts for 70-80% of jobs landed, so holiday gatherings are prime real estate for planting career seeds. Here’s how you might phrase it:
“Work’s been good, but I’m starting to think about my next chapter. I’ve been working in [field] for [X years] and I’d love to find a role that lets me [specific goal or passion]. If you hear of anything in that space, I’d really appreciate the heads-up!”
In other words, cue your elevator pitch — just keep it short and sweet. This approach is warm, non-pushy and sets the stage for someone to think of you when opportunities arise.
Bonus Tip: Make It About Them
Want to make a lasting impression? Be genuinely curious about the other person’s career, passions and experiences. People love talking about themselves and active listening can deepen connections and open doors.
And In The End, Keep Your Holiday Networking Effective, Festive And Professional
A few more tips to keep your holiday networking jolly and productive:
Go easy on the (in my case usually red wine) or eggnog: Festive confidence is great; tipsy is not.
Keep your resume at home: This isn’t a job fair. Instead, have a quick, holiday gathering elevator pitch ready if opportunities arise.
Follow up: If someone offers advice or a connection, thank them promptly and send a follow-up note.
Finally, don’t underestimate the power of Aunt Mary, even if she retired years ago. You never know who she might know — or who she’ll casually mention you to over coffee.
Your goal should be to be warm, friendly, interested and conversational while being optimistic and clear about what you’re seeking. If a professional connection does spark at a holiday gathering, follow up promptly and send a thank-you note to the connector.
Ready to Dive Deeper?
If you're a recent college grad still seeking that great fit, Pre-Order Launch: The Recent College Grad’s Guide to Getting Unstuck & Empowering Your Dream Career for expert strategies to elevate your job search — or sign up for Dream Job Diaries for weekly insights to help you thrive in your career journey.
Maria Katrien 'Trie' Angeleva Heslin, MA, MA
Certified Coach, Author & Trainer
Dubbed “Professor Dream Job,” by her students, Trie is a former COO and founder of Reimagine Monday. She specializes in helping individuals transform their careers and lives through mindful, strategic approaches. Trie developed and taught career success courses at Indiana University, building on her proven methodology, The Love Monday Method. Her latest release, Launch, designed to help new college grads get unstuck in their search and empower their new career, is now available for Pre-Order.
With two Master's degrees, a Certificate in Executive Leadership from Cornell University, six coaching certifications and a deep passion for guiding new graduates and professionals in their prime, Trie supports individuals in navigating their career paths with clarity and confidence, and is dedicated to helping YOU turn your dream job into a reality.
Connect with Trie at trie@reimaginemonday.com.
